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The Overscheduling Myth
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Dealing with the pressures parents face todayShielding our Kids from Pain -- Should You Ever Ignore that Impulse?November 28, 2009
Have you ever had to fight the urge to do your child’s homework or complete a project for him? At the recent Learning & the Brain Conference in Cambridge, Mass., my coauthor Wendy Grolnick talked about the natural human urge to shield our young from emotional, social, and psychological pain. When parents face certain pressures, however, that (more…)
What Can Parents Learn from Andre Agassi?November 16, 2009 Andre Agassi hated tennis? That’s the surprise in his new autobiography Open, but the surprise evaporates when you read why: Agassi didn’t choose to play tennis. He felt forced to play. His immigrant dad wanted his son to live the American dream, to have the life choices he’d not had himself, (more…) Empathizing is Hard to DoMay 29, 2009
Yesterday while talking to parents at Echo Horizon school in Culver City, Ca. about Pressured Parents, Stressed-out Kids, I mentioned that I’d found giving my kids empathy difficult --- even though I know empathy helps you take a child’s point of view, which strengthens her feelings of autonomy. I guess (more…)
Kudos to a Reporter!February 23, 2009
Here's an excellent article on Pressured Parents, Stressed-out Kids: Grolnick to Discuss Pressure, Stress It's angled around an announcement of Wendy's next talk on our book, but the amazing feature of this article is that it seems (more…)
Should We Make our Kids Do Certain Activities?December 12, 2008
After I spoke to a PTA group recently about Pressured Parents, Stressed-out Kids, a dad approached me. "You say to support kids' autonomy and not pressure them, but when I was a kid my parents took me to the theater twice a year -- even when I said 'Hey I wanna stay home and play (more…)
College Applications Still Driving Kids – and Parents – CrazyNovember 29, 2008
The glossy pamphlets still flood in: “Live, study, and work in both sleek high-rise towers and turn-of-the-century brownstones,” reads the gorgeously thick Boston University brochure. “Win a Hummer. All you have to do is attend an SJSU football game” trumpets San Jose State University’s.
As kids fill out their college applications amidst the (more…) The Overscheduling MythNovember 20, 2008
Why do we love to criticize other parents for overscheduling their kids?
Maybe it’s a way to justify the choices that you’ve made. “You’ve decided this isn’t your lifestyle,” says sociologist Sandra Hofferth, “and rejected those of other people.” There’s probably more criticism of overscheduling in America today than (more…) When your child wants to quit an activityNovember 11, 2008
“My son quits every activity I take him to!” complained a mother the other night at a PTA meeting where I spoke about Pressured Parents. “What should I do?”
That’s a good question, because at one time or another all of us parents face this dilemma. What do you tell your child who (more…) How to Relieve College Application PressureOctober 30, 2008
Baylor University's student newspaper, The Lariat, recently revealed that the school has paid already-admitted freshmen to retake the SAT. The program raised average test scores for incoming freshmen, and therefore could help the school’s US News & World Report ranking. Faculty, who hadn't known about this latest example of the misuse of testing in (more…)
Kids and Competition: Love of the Game and FunOctober 24, 2008
There's a very good article on kids and competition in the Oct. 17th Family Circle, also on Parents.com. Cynthia Hanson writes that kids' lives are more competitive these days partly because of TV shows like American Idol, and America's Next Top Model. "We have a whole generation of kids who fear they're going (more…)
Bailing Kids Out -- Is it Really So Bad?September 16, 2008
Conventional wisdom has it that we shouldn't bail our kids out of sticky situations or failures, because then they won't learn from their mistakes. You might think that since I've coauthored a book on pressured parents and warned acting on the anxiety we feel when our kids compete, that I'd say "Hold off. Let (more…)
Paying kids to learnSeptember 10, 2008
Not long ago Wendy Grolnick and I published an oped in the L.A. Times titled, “Pay to Learn Shortchanges Kids: dozens of studies over 35 years have found that rewarding people for learning backfires.” You can see it at
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-grolnick5-2008sep05,0,2652576.story Paying kids to learn is not (more…) |
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